Another Visit To The Hospital For A Parent

I’m finding today a bit surreal with another visit to the hospital, except this time it’s with dad.

Approximately five years ago the University of Tennessee Medical Center was home for mom.  They cared for her cancer treatments and truly were the best in every way.  As a cancer survivor, mom grew in strength and confidence and this I attribute to her care on UTMC.  However, we all sadly lost mom as the treatments took a toll on her body years following her remission.

Now I’m sitting in the waiting room of the same hospital, except this time it’s for dad.  Results are not conclusive, but it could be bladder cancer.  I’m writing this as he is in recovery and tissue samples of the tumors they removed are being tested.

I feel like there is more than just tumors being tested here with me.  It’s emotionally challenging at best and the images of doctors, waiting rooms, medical conversations and that whole medical power of attorney thing is taking it’s toll.

But I’m a big boy and holding it clearly together.  Oh, and you may wonder about dad . . . well, he is a strong trooper, brave and a hero!

 

Blessed Beyond Belief

Today people think about many things, but for me, today I know I am blessed beyond belief.  Keeping perspective and knowing this is so important as well as knowing how far my want stretches beyond the need of others.

Every night I am blessed to lay my head on a pillow.  So many, albeit the orphan or the homeless find rest where they are able.

Every day I am blessed to satisfy the pangs of hunger.  While thousands hold signs on a corner, stand in line at a shelter or wander and wonder for their next meal.

Every day I am blessed with the luxury of technology.  In the use of this computer, my phone or driving my car, I take for granted this convenience.

Every day I am blessed to enjoy my family.   During the holidays, many are separated from their loved ones by serving our country, conflicts in the home or because of unfortunate loss.  Today, I am blessed!

Every day I am blessed with freedom.  My freedom, though at a costly price, Blessed to be Half Fullaffords me the ability to pray, to celebrate the birth of our Savior, to play, to live and to love.

I see so much of the world ungrateful and unrealistically discontent with where they are in life.  It can dish out some of the most difficult blows.  I for one can attest to such, but the option is mine (ours) to decided how we see our cup.  Half full?  Half empty?

I am choosing full.  It may only be half full, but full it is.

 

That’s Not My Problem

The world seems to be falling apart . . . at least it would appear so.  But truly, it doesn’t look any more unrested than it did in the days of Abraham, Noah, David, Paul, and any number of moments within the gap (those days between then and now). It’s easy to focus on the uncertainty of what is to come.  Of course, as Christians, there is a sense of peace knowing the God is the victor, but our minds, our flesh has a tendency to worry about tomorrow.

I was reminded last night, as I spoke on the phone with a dear friend, of the nature and doubt of where what we don’t see, but need, will come from.  How do we know our next meal will arrive?  How do we know our bills will be paid?  Worry, worry, worry.  That seems to be the answer most of the time.

I’ve yet to see a sparrow worry though.  Perhaps the feathers disguise the worrisome look just above their beak, but something tells me they are incapable of such a state of mind.  Wouldn’t that be nice if we were unable to worry?  But God has designed us to trust!  Worry comes when we take our eyes off the Father, Jehovah Jireh (my Provider) and instead, gaze upon the needs of the world around us; especially our own.

I’m so thankful He has me in His provisional hands.  He has me in mind when I don’t understand what tomorrow will bring.  Instead, He wants me to see His provision in my today, not worry about tomorrow, and “lean not on my own understanding, but in all my ways acknowledge Him . . . ”

Because of the Lord’s great love we are not consumed, for his compassions never fail.  They are new every morning; great is your faithfulness. I say to myself, “The Lord is my portion; therefore I will wait for him.”   Lamentations 3:22-24

Great is your faithfulness; mercy and love!

Afresh Each Day

I’m convinced, if you wait on Him . . . or better . . . if you will listen, God has something big to say every day.  Sometimes my children remind me how much I miss in life.  From the back seat I often hear, “Daddy, did you see that?”  And my answer is often the same each time . . . “Ummm, no I missed it!”  The busy nature of our lives and the fast-paced schedules create an environment where we forget.  We forget to look up, look around and notice things, especially the Creator.  He’s ever present, ever moving, ever speaking . . . every day.

Yesterday, the morning moon would not leave me alone.  I know you’ve likely painted an image in your mind of the larger than life moon out my bedroom window blazing its beams on me throughout the night.  Oddly enough, this wasn’t it at all.  In fact, in the early morning, skirting around town, like I was a child once again, the moon seemed to follow me everywhere I went.  Every turn I took, it was there.  But on this particular morning, it struck me different every time I saw it.  It must have been a dozen or so moments.  You may be wondering what was so extraordinary about these moments.  Well, it was the handiwork of the Creator, speaking to me.  With every glance of the moon, the painting in the sky displayed in curious splendor a new moon.  In what appeared to be in a blink of an eye, the clouds that ordained the moon just moments before were gone and replaced with the morning hue of pinks and blues.  Oh how majestic is Your name in all the earth!

And then, this morning, He seals the deal.  Shows me in ways only possible through His works, the renewing of His lovingkindness, mercy and grace . . . each day.

His lovingkindness begins afresh each day.
Lamentations 3:23 TLB

And when I read this, everything seemed to pause.  For real?  Afresh?  Each day?  This doesn’t feel true.  It certainly isn’t how I choose to live, that’s for sure.  Heaping upon yesterday’s yesterday the self-inflicted debt of grace and love needed.  My trailer of bad days is a heavy load to bring into today from yesterday.  But in Lamentations, God says His lovingkindness begins afresh, brand-new, no-debt, no baggage . . . full, in an abundance of grace and mercy — just enough for today!  And He will meet me tomorrow with a million new moons to declare His lovingkindness one more time!

Thank you, Lord!  Thank you for new days, new hours and new minutes!  Thank you for new moons at every turn!  Thank you for new beginnings each day!

Resting In The Shadow

There are so many places where peace is nothing shy of just plain pretty.  Oh the beauty of a peaceful commute home from work or the beauty of  a calm conversation with the phone company over a discrepancy in the bill.  How awesome to experience the peace in the playroom when 6, 5, 4, 3, 2 and 1 child with a friend plays without fighting.  Sometimes I just cry out for a Klondike Bar!  Oh boy, what I wouldn’t do sometimes for a peaceful moment.

But God has extended for me a place, a place to rest — find peace.  It’s a place not riddled with distractions, formal rules, assignments or expectations — it’s a place of freedom, communion, fellowship and well . . . rest.

David spoke of this place as he, too, wondered of the assurance of fellowship with his God.  And as he did he found peace in his fellowship.  It was a place of rest, embrace and joy.

I’m reminded of moments I’ve spent in the hammock, under the tall oak tree.  I reflect on the fellowship with my Savior on the boulder found  firmly in place at the edge of the creek.  As I seek shade on a hot day, may I rest in the comfort of my Lord.

Whoever dwells in the shelter of the Most High, will find rest in the shadow of the Almighty.  Psalm 91:1

Irrational Recipe

It’s pretty common knowledge, especially among chefs, that ingredients play a key role in making anything in the kitchen.  You probably just squished up your face and said to yourself something like, “Well, it doesn’t take a chef to know that – duh!”  You’d be right.  In fact, it’s also pretty common knowledge to know that baking soda, when used alone, will not make a cake, neither will an egg, or oil, or flour.  I actually hope you have never done or choose to ever do this, but  you’ll know exactly what I mean if you spoon up some baking soda in your mouth.  Don’t ask me how I know this.

My experience of expertise in this area comes at a critical time in my life where I was learning from my grandmother, the trade secrets in the kitchen.  Making homemade brownies was always a treat!  But I must add, curiosity really got the goose on this particular day.  All the ingredients on the table and ready to assemble, the one that drew my attention far more than any other was the can of Cocoa.  Taking on the ideal fragrance of chocolate and appearing in presentation identical to it’s cousin Nestle Quick, I couldn’t resist the temptation to grab the spoon at the first chance I had.  Grandma finally went around the corner, just out of site and I moved in for the kill.  It was going to be a mouthful of succulent chocolate yum — a concentrated chocolate milk on my tongue and I couldn’t wait for the thrill of this tasteful experience.  I grabbed the spoon in my unbelievable fortune, dug it deep within the tin of joy and lifted the spoon to my mouth while subtle waves of chocolate dance through my nose to my brain.  And then, like I had just unleashed a scoop of the moon into my mouth, the bitter buds on my palette ached and immediately withdrew what little moisture had gathered under my tongue.  Even at the attempt to discard it, it was like someone had just stepped on a powdery mushroom as spores of Cocoa were released into the air.  One might think it would depart your mouth as quick as it went in, but like QuickSet concrete, Cocoa turns to a paste that a simple and single glass of water does not dissolve.

I had learned a valuable lesson that day.  I am not coo-coo for Cocoa anymore for one, but I mostly learned that all things are not as they appear.  Ingredients can seem a bit irrational at times.  It just doesn’t make sense that something so nasty can taste so good in the end.  Sugar is a sweet, sweet thing — it changes everything!!!

Tonight I was reminded of this principle once again.  The more I read about it, the more I became amazed, encouraged and simply in awe of God.  In short, God tells us that He is making something very good in each of us.  He plans to use all things to conform me into the image of His Son.  And I found myself staring at the pages . . . quiet . . . still . . . contemplating this apparent journey.  And here is what I began to think:  “What?  All things?  He’s going to take them all?  Surely not all of them!!  Really??  This one?  This?  That? And THAT??”

Oh my . . . this feels like a recipe for disaster!  And satan would surely like for me to think that in every sense of the term.  But that’s not what God has said about me, nor is it how Christ lives through me.  Yeah, my sin is like a spoonful of Cocoa — smells good, tastes like powdered poop!  But my crappy life experiences mixed with a heart for Jesus baked in His redemptive love and grace is an original recipe indeed!

Thank you Jesus!

And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose.    Romans 8:28

by Mark Cruver

Mom Knows

The depth of a mother’s love is impossible to measure.  Filled with an oversized heart and a badger-like protection, moms can be the strength needed to get through a day.  Mom’s in prayer for their children carry the strength of a million men — it’s like having the keys to heaven itself.

I am so fortunate to have my mom share the air we all breathe each day.  Blessed by her prayer, her love and endless pursuit of my heart for God has transformed my awareness of God in the wilderness.

Thank you Lord Jesus for a mom who’s prayed endlessly for her children!

Mom

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

“For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.  Then you will call on me and come and pray to me, and I will listen to you.  You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart.”    Jeremiah 29:11-13

 

Talking Behind My Back

Have you ever been the subject of someone talking about you behind your back?  Worse, have you ever been the one talking about someone else behind their back?  I hardly think anyone is exempt from either of those questions.  In fact, the topics about another span the universe and unfortunately we only find out about the negative things.  Truth is, nobody really likes to find out they’ve been “talked about” behind their back.

I recently encountered a moment very similar.  But my reaction was very different than most I think.  I found out someone was talking about me behind my back and it literally took my breath away.  I never ever thought this person would say such things about me so when I found out I could do nothing but sit there in tears.  Why was I taken so off-guard, you may wonder?  Well, it wasn’t the first time.  This particular revelation was actually the sixth time it was brought to my attention.  It was getting a bit ridiculous . . . or was it?

What do you really say when you find out God is talking to others about you behind your back?  What do you really say?  I sat in awe and wept.

When, for the sixth time, some random person comes up to you and says, “God just told me to come over and introduce myself because you needed someone to pray with,” you open your ears to their words.  The prayers, the conversations, the revelation of God in those moments and the realization that God Himself was having a conversation with others about you will change your perspective!

Then I read about the blind guy, Bartimaeus.  It was brief, but it was direct . . . Jesus spoke to others about Bartimaeus in much the same way as he has spoken to others about me.  Jesus stopped and said, “Call him.”  Jesus said this to those with him (likely his disciples).  And with that charge, they called Bartimaeus from the roadside where he sat yelling for mercy — something Jesus could have surely done Himself.  Bartimaeus was on the mind of Jesus and Jesus spoke to others to get his attention. (Mark 10:46-52)

I’m wondering now how many times I’ve missed the call from Jesus as He is trying to talk to me about someone behind their back.

Lord Jesus, I simply am awestruck at your thoughts of me.  When your thoughts of me reach me, they overwhelm me.  Thank you for calling out to your disciples for Bartimaeus.  I’m so thankful for their obedience in hearing your voice. Thank you for calling out to others for me!  And, for what it is worth, I’m glad you talk about me behind my back!

by Mark Cruver

Desert Cloud

Ever complain?  Ever sit in your seat and ask this question . . . “Really?”  I certainly have, and worse, I know it full well.  My complaint trigger is sensitive with little to make it fire off.  If you are anything like the rest of us on earth, it’s tough finding something not worth complaining over.  Yet, in the midst of this very thing God does not delight.  At least this is what I’ve gathered through an account with the Israelites and Aaron in the book of Exodus.

At the instruction of Moses, Aaron addressed the hostile crowd.  They had been complaining about their conditions, mainly provisions.  And, while there was much at stake, their conditions were not meant for daily comfort or individual gain, but for the glory of God to be magnified.  And therefore, through their grumblings, God’s glory was on display!

While Aaron was speaking to the whole Israelite community, they looked toward the desert, and there was the glory of the Lord appearing in the cloud.   Exodus 16:10

The glory of the Lord . . . wow!  Hovering over the dry sands of the desert, the richness of beauty and provision was on display. The glory of the Lord was before them, reminding them of the One to whom all praise is given — regardless of the condition.

Lord Jesus, may my life always point to your desert cloud.  Press upon my complaining heart a prayer of the reflection of your glory in me to answer the call of the moment to know it is less about me and all about you!

Wife With No Name

Taste and see that the Lord is good; blessed is the one who takes refuge in him.  Psalm 34:8

Today I had the most excellent conversation with some new friends at my local Starbucks.  It was one of those conversations that begin knowing full well God orchestrated.  Those are indeed, the best kind!  During the course of the conversation, my new friend asked me a question.  She said, “Who is your favorite woman in the Bible?”  What an interesting question.  I sat and pondered as she explained, “I’m going to be speaking at my church on a woman of my choice from the Bible and I just don’t know who.”  I replied, “My favorite woman in the Bible is the wife with no name.”  Confused and a bit bewildered, my new friend sought to learn more.  “It’s Noah’s wife,” I said.

You see, there’s not much written — in fact hardly a word — on Noah’s wife.  She’s a quiet character in the story of Noah, but plays the leading supporting role.  The mere story itself suggests many things I believe to be true about Noah’s wife that serves to be a lesson for all of us.

The story of Noah begins, if a story can actually begin when one is 500 years old, with God finding favor with him and his family because he was found righteous.  God found favor in the hearts of Noah’s family, destroyed everyone else upon the earth.  Not once do we read of Noah’s wife complaining, belittling or questioning Noah.

Instead, we find the wife with no name in complete obedience to her Father in heaven as she follows with honor her entrusted husband.

May we learn from Noah’s wife the power in obedience to our God . . . even in the midst of unbelievable circumstances, unfathomable storms and undeniable messes . . . only to find, in His great plan, the promise of all things new!